Forget me not
by DreamedSilverWings
Summary: [IchiRuki Month! Day 20: Eye contact] He looked up, and their eyes finally met, after so much time, but Rukia noticed that something was missing. His amber eyes didn't shine when he saw her, they didn't open as wide as usual, his pupil didn't expand, nor did his breathing fail him for an instant. He looked at her as if she was a stranger as if he had never seen her in his life.


I fucking cried like a bitch while writing this. Is a monster, I warn you.

* * *

 **Forget me not**

 **.**

For Rukia, there came a moment where time stopped.  
Between the captaincy, raising Ichika, her marriage and her duties with the Kuchiki family, she ran out of time. In Soul Society it was very easy to let time pass, and the excuses for not going to the world of the living were not lacking.  
Without realizing it, they spent years without visiting their friends.  
It wasn't until July 12, that she remembered that it was about to be Ichigo's birthday. When she told Renji, he thought it would be a good idea to go visit the Kurosaki family after so long.  
When they arrived at the celebration, the reality fell like a bucket of water.  
Their friends there, who apparently had done a better job of keeping in touch, had aged, while she and Renji still looked as if they were barely scraping their thirties. Even Ichika, who had been a great friend of Kazui, still looked like a teenager while he was already starting to look like an older man.  
"Kuchiki-san! Abarai-san!" Orihime, who, despite her age, still looked beautiful, greeted her with a smile and a hug. Rukia was about to ask her to call to her by name, that after so many years of friendship shouldn't have been in vain, but realistically it hasn't really been quality years. "But look at Ichika-chan, how much have you grown, in height and beauty, you look beautiful!"  
Ichika smiled slyly, loved compliments and although she was very sure of herself, they never hurt. She liked being able to stand out, whether it was because of her height, the girl was almost as tall as her father, because of her vivacious hair or the beauty of her mother's features.  
"Thanks, Inoue-san. You look great in that dress."  
"Oh, come on, I'm too old to see myself well."  
"Don't say that Inoue, you're still a beautiful woman."  
Although Rukia's words were sincere, she had little to do with the vivacious Orihime of years ago. Something in her looked ... sad.  
When he noticed the decorations for the birthday party, she noticed a very important detail, which made her realize how much time had passed away from them. This was Ichigo's seventy-second birthday.  
She had spent almost four decades away from her best friend.  
At that moment she couldn't help asking.  
"Where is Ichigo?"  
"Oh," Orihime paused, "he's in the dining room..."  
Before she could finish Rukia started to walk away from them, walking to the dining room she had known for too long, she heard Orihime shouting her last name, but it didn't stop her until she got there. He was sitting in the same chair he used when he was a teenager, although his hair was completely white and his face was wrinkled, she could still say it was him.  
"Ichigo!" She shouted with joy, feeling her heart overflow like every time she saw him again after a long time.  
He looked up, and their eyes finally met, after so much time, but Rukia noticed that something was missing. His amber eyes didn't shine when he saw her, they didn't open as wide as usual, his pupil didn't expand, nor did his breathing fail him for an instant.  
He looked at her as if she was a stranger as if she had never seen her in his life.  
"Kuchiki-san!" Orihime went in agitated when she noticed that they had already met she looked at her with some degree of pity. "Can I talk to you?  
"Orihime. Who is she?"  
Rukia saw him devastated, she couldn't believe what she had heard. For a moment, it was as if reality had failed her as if the impossible had happened.  
Did Ichigo not remember her?  
"Ichigo, don't you remember me? It's me, Rukia, I know it's been a while, but..." she frowned," I know you must be upset, but this is very cruel."  
"Kuchiki-san," Orihime spoke softly as if trying to rescue the situation.  
"Who is she Orihime? Why do you speak to me with such familiarity?"  
For Rukia her heart fell in several pieces, she felt incomplete now. She felt tears forming in her eyes.  
"Ichigo." Orihime took her arm, wanting to move her from that place, but she couldn't move. "Have you forgotten me?"  
It sounded more like a sob, almost inaudible as if I didn't even want to pronounce it or hear it. It sounded crazy.  
She didn't even realize when Orihime had taken her from the dining room to take her to what had been Ichigo's room, where they had first met. She made her sit on the bed and sat next to her while holding her hand.  
"Ichigo has a human disease called Alzheimer's."  
"What is that?" Rukia didn't understand anything. She didn't know what was happening.  
Orihime bit her lip.  
"It is a disease that affects memory, Kuchiki-san. Sometimes you don't even remember how to put your clothes on, don't feel bad, please.  
For Rukia the resemblance something impossible, all that was so unreal. Everything in her screamed that something was very, very wrong. She couldn't even stand the urge to cry. Orihime saw her sadly, closed her eyes for a moment and then sighed. She wiped her tears with her hands and smiled as kindly as ever, but it had been something else, she wasn't the same girl.  
"Could you leave me a moment alone?"  
Orihime nodded and left the room without saying anything else. When the door closed Rukia allowed herself to break once more.  
She curled up on the bed, while she clenched her hands in her fists and closed her eyes tightly. Biting her lips.  
What happened to their oaths? With its unbreakable bond? With the battles? With the adventures hunting hollows and surviving school life? With his warm gaze? Where had all this gone? Didn't mean anything now?  
She cried like a little girl, who didn't understand anything about what was happening because this couldn't be real. It must have been a kind of a joke for taking so long to return, and she really deserved it. She hoped that when she left the room Ichigo would tell her that she was a dumb dwarf so she could tell him that he was a brainless man for such a cruel joke.  
But Ichigo never went up. Nor Orihime. Not even Renji dared to knock on the door.  
Rukia inhaled air and dropped her sobs even though she knew it was in vain.  
She felt as if something had been lost in the depths of her being.  
Nobody dared to come to the room. She didn't have the composure to go down either.  
It came out as if it had been done so many times before, through the window. She ran and ran until her legs couldn't move more, and only then she decides to return to the Soul Society on her own, hoping that Renji and Ichika would understand.  
And they did it because for Renji it was also very discouraging that Ichigo didn't recognize her, but it hadn't been with the same intensity as she, and he knew that very well.  
Rukia once again tried to keep her mind on anything. If Ichigo had forgotten her, she would too. It wasn't difficult; it had been like that for decades.

* * *

She filled herself with work, and she looked for even more. She helps Byakuya even though she doesn't tell him why. She spent too much time in the squad. She tried not to sleep.

"I think that's enough."  
Renji told her as she prepared to sleep, after almost seventy hours of not doing it.  
"Of what?"  
Renji grumbled, unable to believe how stubborn his wife was despite the years.  
"Ichigo."  
"Ichigo?" She acted as if in her life he had heard his name.  
"Yes. Ichigo Kurosaki. Our friend, the substitute shinigami, the guy who you gave your spiritual powers, which makes you almost killed, and the one who saved you.  
"The same one that forgot me."  
"Rukia!" He sounded indignant as if he could n't believe that she had said. "How can you say that? Ichigo has a disease! He can't help it, and you immaturely, have decided to act as if he didn't exist while you destroy yourself slowly? You think that is fair?  
Rukia looked away, knowing that he was right. But she didn't like it anyways.  
"He was the only one who didn't forget me."  
Renji looked down in distress, although the years still could n't overcome having completely forgotten a Ruin in that incident with Homura and Shizuku. Any other day she would tell him to not blame himself, but she didn't even have the cheer, anyone.  
He sighed heavily, as he had done for weeks.  
"I still can't believe it". She wasn't going to cry; she had cried enough.  
"I didn't either Rukia, but Ichigo decided to live a human life, and human beings got sick." He takes her hands like he does every time he tries to make her understand. "We can't do anything against that, the only thing we can do is support them.  
"What am I supposed to do? I can't insert his memories back."  
"But you can help Inoue."  
Rukia saw him with surprise.  
"No, I don't think I..." Renji squeezed her hands.  
"I have investigated that disease. She will need a lot of help, especially if he also forgets her.  
"But what about you?" She saw him as reproached for thinking that it would bother him, "But what about Ichika?"  
"Ichika will understand. She is a big girl already, I can help her while you help down there, we could also help."  
"But the squadron."  
"I will deal with Shunsui. I'm sure he'll understand, it's the least we can do for Ichigo.  
"We would leave two squads without a captain. It will not allow it.  
"You could go and then me. We will find a way."  
"I... I don't think I can do it."  
Renji kissed her forehead, with a lot of tenderness, and then hugged her, that was something she really needed for a long time.  
"You are strong; the strongest woman I have ever met in my life. You can with this and more."

* * *

When Rukia arrived at the Kurosaki house again, she did it with her head held high, although her heart still hasn't recovered.  
Orihime received her with a hug, this time even stronger as if at that moment she was her light in the darkness.  
"Who is she?" This time he asked a little more self-conscious, even with some fear.  
"It's a friend of mine, Ichigo, she'll stay with us for a few days" Orihime lied when she presented her, she was going to stay much longer. "Her name is Rukia."  
"Good afternoon." He greeted with a courtesy that Rukia wasn't familiar with, not from him.  
"Good afternoon, Kurosaki-san" it hurt to not be able to say his name, but she had to do it. "Take good care of me."  
She leaned forward, closing her eyes, hoping he would answer something, anything. It wasn't until Inoue took her hand that she straightened. Ichigo had apparently lost interest completely and had started to organize poker chips as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.  
"Excuse him," Inoue said embarrassed.  
"Don't worry" although Rukia was starting to feel sad, she knew she wasn't there for that. "Little by little we will improve." She said with apparent confidence because she wasn't sure about that.

* * *

At first, she was mainly in charge of helping with household chores, until little by little, she was encouraged to speak with Ichigo again. They were sporadic conversations, like "where's Orihime?", "Can I turn on the TV?" or the most common "What is your name?"  
Until one day, while folding the clothes to keep it while Orihime went to the shopping he knocked on the door even if it was open.  
"Can I come in?" he asked politely.  
"Sure," she smiled warmly, pleasantly surprised that he wanted, apparently, to make her company.  
He sat on the bed, watching as she folded his clothes without saying anything.  
"Can I help?"  
He asked with fear, which made Rukia feel bad, maybe she was being too cold with him and he thought she doesn't want him near.  
"Of course that you can" she approached the basket of clothes so he could take the garment that he wanted. "I need a little help."  
Ichigo smiled, and Rukia couldn't help doing it too. She watched in silence as he folded his clothes, almost perfectly, much better than the way she did.  
When they finished, she put the clothes in the corresponding drawers.  
"Thank you very much, Kurosaki-san."  
"Could you tell me the next time you're going this? I like to do it."  
"I will don't doubt it."  
"Thanks ..." He looked at her uncomfortably, obviously, he had forgotten what he wanted to say "Could you remind me your name?  
"My name is Rukia."  
"Oh, I'm sorry" he smiled sadly, as he had before, softening her like never before. "Thanks, Rukia."  
He left the room and briefly grabbed her shoulder, and she closed her eyes, savoring those words because she hasn't been able to do it for too long. She had missed them so much.

* * *

To fold the clothes together they began to draw, Ichigo always told her that her drawing skills were horrible, and although every time she acted like if she was indignant to make him laugh, the truth is that she was finally taking the time to draw Chappys and other animals.  
Ichigo, who sometimes asked her to call him by his first name, others by his surname and others who even demanded that he call him "Kurosaki-sama", but always asked hers, was more artistic. She tried to draw inanimate objects or plants, she had even drawn a realistic rabbit once for her.  
Everything was normal until Orihime showed her that Ichigo had already made several portraits of her, drawings he did in secret because she had never seen them.  
He didn't know how to explain that. Orihime smiled sadly, she already knew that Ichigo was always going to prefer Rukia.  
"I suppose he wants to remember your face if you leave."  
"It must be that."  
Rukia knew that he was lying. But it was the best.

* * *

"Kurosaki-san" seeing that Ichigo didn't grumble continued. "What if we adopt a pet?  
He denied with his head.  
"You have enough with having to take care of me."  
Rukia pouted. I hoped that I could adopt a rabbit at last.  
"And what about plants? The garden is very lonely."  
"I suppose it would be fine."  
They went to buy seeds, plants, pots, compost and black soil, also a watering can, gloves for gardening and three hats.  
Gardening became a hobby for the three, something that Orihime enjoyed a lot. If a plant was dying, she secretly used her powers to heal it and prevent Ichigo from becoming sad.  
"You love him very much," Rukia affirmed one night while they were watering alone because Ichigo was very stubborn that night and wanted to go to bed early.  
"I do. I have always done it."  
"I admire your strength" she was being honest, she didn't know if she would have been able to endure this.  
"And I always yours, I even envied her." Rukia didn't understand very well because when the extraordinary there was her.

* * *

When Renji came to visit with Ichika, Ichigo didn't take it well. He remained hidden behind the newspaper while Rukia talked with her husband.  
If Ichigo didn't ask anything about Renji because he forgot or because he didn't want to know the answer, she didn't know, and Rukia chose not to inquire into that.  
There were things that were better left as they were.

* * *

"I remembered something."  
"Yes?" replied attentively while watering the forget me not, which had become, ironically, Ichigo's favorite.  
"The figure of a woman. A very important woman."  
Rukia paid him even more attention.  
"Important?"  
"She is a little bit small, with black hair and wearing a black kimono" Ichigo licked his lips, trying to formulate the words, usually he wasn't that talkative. "She has a strong temperament and proud eyes."  
He smiled, his eyes shining with memories. Rukia felt a little hope.  
"Tell me more, what do you remember?"  
"The memories of our days together. Days in which we entrusted our lives to each other when we cut ourselves with our swords. There is no way I can forget about her. I know that woman."  
Ichigo was exalted, and very much. Rukia released the hose and let it fall to the ground to take her arms to try to calm him down, although she felt like her heart almost came out of her chest with emotion. He was remembering her.  
"Ichigo, calm down."  
"The memories were carved inside the bottom of my soul, they were floating..." He paused, as if having difficulty being able to pronounce the following, and feeling that he had her name on the tip of his tongue, and then, it went out "Rukia!"  
"Ichigo!" She answered his call with tears forming in her eyes, relieved "Ichigo!"  
He took her cheeks, admiring her features as if it were the first time, his wrinkled hands felt callused, but that didn't matter.  
"How could I forget you?" Rukia shook her head, he had not, not quite "Rukia, you changed my world."  
"Oh, Ichigo. You have no idea of the chaos and calm you did in mine."  
They laughed as they haven't done for decades because it was true. For a few hours, Rukia again had her friend, who said her name as if it were something sacred.  
He hugged her with fear, and Rukia knew why. He was afraid of forgetting her again.  
She went to sleep, fully happy, knowing that although Ichigo's brain didn't remember her, his soul did.

* * *

The next morning, Ichigo woke up moody, complaining that he had forgotten something very important again and that frustrated him a lot.  
Rukia put on a record of his favorite band, Bad Religion. That immediately changed the mood of Ichigo, who began to sing and even to dance making Rukia laugh. She had never seen him do it, but in the end, she ended up doing it also guided by his spontaneity.

* * *

When Ichigo got tired of them reading Hamlet, he asked if they could see photographs. She totally agreed, without thinking much that he would find pictures of her.  
"She is your mother?" He asked when they find one in which they are at his father's birthday party, shortly before she married. He knew it would be too much for him to remember the way life works after death, and probably still wouldn't believe her, so she decided to lie.  
"Yes, she is."  
Ichigo tenderly touched her face in the photograph.  
"Was she a good friend?"  
She couldn't contain the question and was about to tell Ichigo that he didn't have to answer when he did.  
"I loved her" such a simple answer made her whole world tremble as only he had before, and no one but him. "I think I still love her."  
Ichigo sighed as he turned the page, commenting on a name he could remember or even anecdotes. The ones that amused him the most were the ones he had hitting Keigo.  
When they finished the album, he asked to go up to his room. Rukia accompanied him, and before closing the door, Ichigo stopped her.  
"Don't tell…"  
Lately, he has been forgetting Orihime's name, much to her sorrow.  
"Orihime?"  
"Yes, Orihime." He said it so as if that way he won't forget it, but that wasn't going to work. "What I told you about your mother. It's going to hurt her a lot.  
"You can trust me" she smiled, it was obvious she wasn't going to say it, she couldn't do that to Orihime.  
"I know it."  
She was grateful that even if he didn't remember her, he still trusted her.

* * *

One day, Ichigo arrived with a crown of flowers, forget me not, daisies and cherry blossoms.  
"Can promise me, that even if I'm too bad to remember your name, will you never forget me?"  
Rukia smiled.  
"I'll never do it."  
"You promise?" Asked insecure.  
And she took his hand, closing the secret pact. Ichigo didn't' need anything else.

* * *

Ichigo got sick, and all he wanted was for Rukia to bring colors or some Shakespeare novel to read together, although that will cost Orihime a lot of grief, he never claimed anything at all. Rukia didn't understand how she had so much strength.  
Although Ichigo kissed Orihime's cheek sometimes, every day less often, she knew it was just to keep up appearances. Even so, she accepted them resignedly.

* * *

The moment that was eventual came, Ichigo died in his sleep.  
She woke up seeing Orihime crying in the dining room, and ran to the main room, he was there, she could see him in his spiritual form, just like the last time he had seen him, sitting on the desk chair. Rukia left the room and took the soul candy. She left her gigai and showed herself before him as a shinigami.  
"Are you an angel of death?"  
"I am a shinigami" she answered things as they were, she saw the drawing on the desk in front of the bed, it was a portrait of her smiling with the wreath of flowers, on which he had been working the night before.  
"I suppose you come for my soul."  
"Yes."  
"It was nice meeting you."  
"The pleasure was mine."  
He drew his sword, and he didn't panic, as if he knew what was going to happen. She stands in front of him, positioning herself. And just for a moment, while she was looking at him to practice the konso, his eyes shone as before, like when he was fifteen, just like when he saw her when they were shinigami. And Rukia knew it, he had recognized her, he had finally done it, this time she wasn't going to have to remind him her name.  
"Thank you, Rukia."  
And he disappeared when her hilt touched his forehead.  
Finally, after so much time, Rukia could throw herself to the floor, with the zampakuto without even saving, to let out a heartrending scream, taking out all the pain she had sustained all this time. She cried and cried, until she began to laugh with the purest of joys, seeing how the hand of the body of Ichigo, still in bed, held a small forget me not, as if to make her remember the promise.  
"I will never forget you, Ichigo."


End file.
